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December 19, 2005

Panic/Anxiety Disorder Forums

The Panic/Anxiety Forums on About.com's Panic/Anxiety Disorders site is an active forum for those with feelings of panic/anxiety.

I posted there recently. I didn't get my message answered there, but maybe I should try again. A few messages don't get answered, but I do feel weird that mine wasn't. I also did answer a few other people's questions, which felt good. I like to feel connected with others who are feeling a similar way.

In any case, there's a lot of good things to read there. Here's a great recent post.

Posted by successfullyshy at 10:37 PM

December 13, 2005

adaa.org

Anxiety Disorders Association of America has a wonderful site that you can use to find a therapist or find a support group.

I didn't find a support group that fit for me in my area when I looked at this previously, but I did see some possibilities tonight for a therapist specific for anxiety. I think I'm missing a therapist focusing on anxiety and possibly medication (again). Fighting anxiety by oneself is a really hard battle, and it's time to enlist more support.

Posted by successfullyshy at 11:45 PM

December 8, 2005

Social Phobia Comics

I'm going to an event where I will only know two people tonight. And I barely know those two people. I'm excited but mostly scared. I rarely ever get out of my very small group of friends, but I know this is something that I need to keep doing to feel good about myself. It something I need to do to get better with anxiety.

I promised to post some more of the links I've been reading, so here's one, an old but good site of comics. Some of the comics don't show up correctly on my computer, but the ones I can read are funny and feel true. Here's a few of the ones I liked: SPINST.gif , intros.gif, SPCAGE.gif

Posted by successfullyshy at 5:44 PM

December 6, 2005

Shaking

My voice can quiver and my lips can shake. It is peculiar that I hardly ever examine this outside of social situations. It is such a large part of my life, and I need to do more to alleviate it. I focus on this more than anything else when talking to others. I need to figure out how to stop this, how to stop thinking about this, or how to accept it.

Posted by successfullyshy at 11:35 PM

The Avoidance Blog

Along with the shyness article mentioned before, there's one more site that propelled me to start this site. The Avoidance Blog was the first site I read where I could see someone going through similar issues. Of course, the situations and feelings don't entirely match, but I identify with many things I've never known about in another person. It helps me to know that I'm not alone struggling through anxiety.

Lately the person's anxiety has gotten much better. I wish I could say the same for myself, but it's good to see someone else progress like this. I recommend anybody reading this to go back through the entries, since there are many good ones, or to read the new ones for inspiration.

Posted by successfullyshy at 11:20 PM

December 4, 2005

Asking for Something

An old entry I wrote. I'm feeling a little down, and this one appears to be a good one to write out at the moment.

I wanted to ask my landlord to allow something not in the lease. I had been putting off asking about this, but I gathered up the courage to call today. He was gruff at first and didn't appear to want to talk to me. When I asked, however, he said "of course". Problem solved! After the conversation I paced around and talked to myself. So much nervous energy that I still don't know how to deal with. On the bright side, I did make the call and saw things turn out alright.

Posted by successfullyshy at 8:24 PM

December 1, 2005

Anxious Talking

I had a good night tonight. I felt a lot of anxiety, but I got out of my comfort zone and talked with people that I normally wouldn't. Most importantly, even though I felt very anxious, I stayed in the situation and didn't feel bad about myself afterwards. I kept looking away and cutting short what I was saying because I felt I couldn't handle it, but I did handle things. That's a big deal for me, and I feel good about dealing with anxiety tonight.

I have a few saved items I've written down lately, entries about things I've felt and links I've found online that I haven't put into the blog yet. I will keep writing them in here, and I will really try to get to some of the links soon. Here's one entry I wrote last week, from a time when things didn't feel as good as tonight.

I was comforted recently into believing that my anxiety I feel isn't seen by others. I don't think that's true, and it is really frustrating when anxiety overwhelms me.

I was on a plane today, heading to see my family. I sat next to a woman who looked about my age. I asked her where she was going and we started talking. Or rather, she began talking and I talked when I felt I could without shaking too much. I could hear my voice trembling, believed my lips were trembling, and couldn't look her in the eyes. I kept thinking about what I was looking like rather than thinking about the conversation. She was interesting, working as a scientist. I got the impression that she was looking for a friend, since she had just moved to the same city that I live in. To be clear, I wasn't attracted to her, but I could see myself hanging out with her. We talked for about fifteen minutes, and the anxiety did decrease, but not as much as usual. I was consumed by thinking about the anxiety, and I started to try to end the questions. I did end them, she put on her headphones, and I got out of talking.

We talked more later in the flight, when I asked a question to start things again. I was still feeling like I was trembling and wasn't looking at her, but I still talked for awhile. At the end of the flight, I thought about giving her my phone number. I even thought she would want it. I was worried, though, about her getting the wrong idea and thinking that I wanted to date her. I envisioned the conversation where she asked about this, and in my head knew I couldn't handle it. So I acted like I wanted to just walk off and not talk again, which I did.

The event doesn't seem so terrible, looking back at it. I did start the conversation twice, although I did stop the conversation twice as well. I felt really scared, but I keep up the conversation for at least a half hour. She wanted to talk to me, which feels good. I have to remember that things barely ever go as badly as I think they do.

Posted by successfullyshy at 10:08 PM