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November 29, 2005

Email and AdWords

I've set up an email address for this site. You can email me at successfullyshy AT gmail DOT com if you'd like. Comments are also always welcome. I like comments even more than email. But I know that writing anywhere can be hard for those feeling social phobia. I know I've felt it on unknown sites.

I don't think many people are reading this site, though, so I don't expect any emails or comments. I'm doing this for myself, but I'd like to have a few people read this to keep me honest. And I'd like to be able to show others that they aren't alone in what they feel. I've been playing around with AdWords, setting a really low daily limit to see if anybody searching about social anxiety will want to read this.

Posted by successfullyshy at 10:15 PM

Getting Out There

When I think about times in life that I've felt the least anxious around other people, I see two significant factors. I am least anxious in the times I've been most confidant about myself and the times when I've been talking with the most people. I'm currently having troubles with the former but am working hard on the latter. I've signed up for three adult education classes. I talk with my few friends more. I'm looking for a roommate. I talk with my family more. I hope in time that getting out more will lessen the fright I feel around other people.

Posted by successfullyshy at 10:04 PM

November 27, 2005

Imprisoned By Anxiety

After I told my new therapist about my social phobia, he said that the anxiety could feel imprisoning. And "Imprisoned" is the word used in Shyness: The New Solution. I had never thought about it with this word. To me, having words for something makes it more conquerable. I am imprisoned by my anxiety. I don't envision some things as possible when they will only happen if I work with other people. Even less possible are things that will only happen if I have to confront or argue with someone. I feel imprisoned by my anxiety and want to break free.

Posted by successfullyshy at 11:00 PM

November 23, 2005

Shyness: The New Solution

I started this site in part because of an article I read. The article affirmed what I was trying to do with my life. I identified with so much of what was written. And I found the phrase "successfully shy". The article can be found in Psychology Today:

Shyness: The New Solution

The phrase "successfully shy" is in this paragraph:

Through our survey, we have identified a group of people we call the successfully shy. Essentially, they recognize that they are shy. They develop an understanding of the nature and dynamics of shyness, its impact on the body, on cognitive processes and on behavior. And they take action based on that self-awareness.

I also thought this paragraph was very interesting:

Respondents told us that they feel imprisoned by their shyness. It is this feeling that seems to be at the core of their pain. But ironically, we find that the way to break out of the prison of shyness may be to embrace it thoroughly. There are many steps the shy can take to develop satisfying relationships without violating their basic nature.

I'd love to quote more from the article, but I don't want to plagiarize. Plus it is better to read it yourself if you are interested.

There's a list of the "The Eight Habits of Highly Popular People". I I am already doing or working on four of them:

1 Schedule Your Social Life
3 Engage in Social Reconnaissance
4 Enter Conversations Gracefully
8 Laugh A Little

But there are things I need to do more of:

2 Think Positive
5 Learn to Handle Failure
6 Take Hold of Your Emotions
7 Defuse Disagreements

When I read this article earlier, I did not see the link to What a wealth of links! I will be exploring this site. I will post more helpful links in the future.

Posted by successfullyshy at 9:05 PM

Perfect Writing

I need to make sure I keep writing here. Maybe I should have said to write every day. I know things I want to write, but I want it to be perfect. Like my interactions with other people. I know this can't happen.

Posted by successfullyshy at 7:47 PM

November 20, 2005

Goals For the Site

That last post was fun. I'll be talking in a normal voice from now on. Here's my goals for this site:

Post three times a week, including one status update. I'll post links, things about myself, and my current thoughts.

Provide a resource for myself and others for social phobia, anxiety, and being successfully shy.

And here's what I'd like to accomplish in my life with this site:

Feel unashamed about having this site. I've thought of saying that a final goal would be to post my picture to this site. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with that idea.

Become successfully shy, however I define that.

Posted by successfullyshy at 5:36 PM

Hello Internet

Hello Internet. It's nice to meet you. You'll have to excuse me, but I'm very nervous about this. We can't see each other, but I'm still frightened to be talking about this. But I'm excited, too. I want to tell you all about social phobia. I want to learn what you know about this. I want to make myself a better person. I want to be successfully shy.

If you could see me, you might see me looking off into the distance, trying not to tremble. I could be ending the conversation when it barely started. Or maybe we just wouldn't meet, because I'm very good at avoiding conversations with others.

You'd like to know more about me? I am male, around 30 years old, and live in a major city in the US. I work at a job that require little interaction with others. I have a few friends and a good family. I am not totally debilitated by social phobia, but I want to live a more fulfilling life.

I would like to ask who you are. I've met some of you out there already, and I've learned a lot from what you've written. I'm sure I'll meet more of you in time.

Posted by successfullyshy at 4:58 PM