August 17, 2009

I Gave a Speech Last Week

I didn't end writing about it here beforehand, but I gave a speech last week. It's only the second time I have ever done this. The first time I gave a speech, I drank a lot beforehand to help calm my nerves. I know that is not a good solution, and I know of the many issues with drinking and social anxiety. This time, though, I only used a beta blocker before the speech. I did not feel great during the talk, but I felt pretty good.

There are many days that are still terrible for me with anxiety. There are days where anxiety gets the better of me, and every day I feel like l need to manage my anxiety. But last week reminded me that there are days that are really good for my anxiety. This was a milestone that I'm very proud of.

Posted by successfullyshy at 10:12 PM

May 31, 2009

Still a Student Some Days

I am going to start writing here again some days to help me get through something that's coming up in two months. I'll be speaking at a conference in August. It is surprising even to me, but I have already spoken once at a conference. For the first one I drank a lot of wine beforehand to get through the talk. I know that's not a good way to deal with things, but I did get done with the speech. Drinking is not going to be option for my performance this time. I am scared. And I need to start taking steps to get myself ready for this.

Social anxiety is still something I deal with every day. It's generally better than it was four years ago. But there are still many days when I can't do all the things I'd like to do. I keep working at it. Or at least I should be.

Ileana posted about my graduation awhile ago. Reading that again, that makes me smile. But the truth is that I'm still a student in ways. And I'm still trying to graduate.

Posted by successfullyshy at 11:03 PM

November 25, 2007

I'm Alive and Well

My life has changed a lot in the last year, much for the better. I'm not writing here anymore. And I wanted to make that official. What helped me out?

1. Letting others know what I'm going through. I started by blogging. Then I let one person into my anxiety world.
2. Forcing myself into situations and a job where I had to deal with people often.
3. Drinking less and exercising more.
4. Accepting my anxiety. And that means that my anxiety has not gone away. It is often better, but it's not always better. It's still a daily issue for me, but it's something that does not hold me down anymore.

If you're looking for more information, check out the helping links. Or see Ileana's closing shop blog post for great links. My heart goes out to everyone reading this.

Posted by successfullyshy at 7:19 PM

March 24, 2007

Two Important Thoughts For Me

When I'm writing I remember that writing makes me feel better.

Not having the constant distractions I've come to rely on can be a beautiful thing.

Posted by successfullyshy at 9:18 PM

March 23, 2007

A Community, In Some Form or Other

I wish I didn't have to turn off comments on this site. I wanted to stop the spam, but I loved hearing from others once in awhile. I do tell my anxieties to someone else, so I am not alone with my feelings. But it's nice to get a comment from more people sometimes, you know?

In a funny timing, I wrote this before I saw a blog response from Illeana. Thanks!

This all relates to community in my mind. Which brings me to an odd realization the other day: some of my desire to always live in a city is to have people around, even if I'm too scared to talk to them.

Posted by successfullyshy at 9:12 PM

March 22, 2007

An Extra Hour

I'll always put in an extra hour of work, but I don't make the same sacrifice for writing anxiety notes, exercising, or talking with a friend. That sounds very sad when I see it written down, and that is more black-and-white than it is. I will always talk with a friend when they are in need, and I do write my anxiety notes sometimes. But "not making the same sacrificies when it isn't work" still feels like the truth. I realize in some ways why I do this. I know that I'm in a position that's a good opportunity for me. But life still needs to be lived, and there's a balance I sometimes don't get right.

Posted by successfullyshy at 9:10 PM

March 21, 2007

Beating Social Anxiety

I really like this blog. Thanks for posting, Ileana.

Posted by successfullyshy at 9:06 PM

January 27, 2007

Getting Out of a Funk

I've been in a funk today. I've wasted too much time, and as the time goes by, I get more in a funk and get less done. So much of the problems I have come from a snowballing effect. It's time to get out of the funk. I'm listening to some good music now, doing the hard work I don't want to do, and accepting the problems of the day.

Posted by successfullyshy at 2:12 PM

Recent Updates- No Comments or Trackbacks

For anybody actually reading this blog, sorry about the recent update. I had to republish some of the entries to fix an issue.

I have also turned off comments and trackbacks. I wish I could have comments on this site, but I had to turn them off because of a technical issue. If you have a comment, you can email me at successfullyshy AT gmail DOT com.

Posted by successfullyshy at 2:10 PM

Joe's Goals

I've started using Joe's Goals again to keep track of daily progress with anxiety. It also helps me keep in mind other things to do. It's a very easy site to use.

Posted by successfullyshy at 2:07 PM